I have really had to work on developing my capacity for awareness to the extent that it’s “personal” to my brain – to survive.  I believe I was born with a strong awareness center in my brain which leads me to also “feel” at a much higher sensitivity level. I automatically feel the need to not only label everything I observe, but to categorize it in every way possible – look, feel, smell, sound, positive, negative, feels good, or does not feel good – and please- logical!  As a child, in the absence of emotional maturity, introspection, reasoning, nor any understanding of real life, this awareness center was not always a positive source. Until I learned how to make it personal to my brain, my awareness center got mixed with my thoughts, and Lord knows I cannot believe everything I think! It is much like being supercharged all the time. I have always been somewhat envious of those who seemingly are oblivious to every little thing around them.

Looking all stressed out with my cousin

There are many people like me who feel that we were suddenly plugged into a higher voltage of everything, including the force of negativity, which can lead to being overwhelmed, most of the time. I did not realize until I was almost 26 how unconsciously I was living. This coupled with my ordinal position taught me that awareness (done well) is the foundation of how to start coming out of the dysfunction of negativity – and how to stay there. I had to teach myself the mastery of being a pure observer (leaving out judgment/interpretations) without needing thoughts. It’s quite powerful.

This awareness became my light that I have used to identify negativity, and letting it go is an attitude that allows me to dissolve it.  This is HARD work. For me, letting go simply means to stay in a space of allowing the inevitable negativity of others to run out of momentum and fizzle away. Letting go is similar to “doing nothing” or “not engaging”. Just be – and the negativity will soon dissolve. In my life, I have applied it to situations and people. The science behind my theory is simple – life is a space of pure positive vibration and hence it does not support low vibration (negative) states. The only way to sustain a low vibration state is for ME to give it the energy it needs to survive by my beliefs/attention/focus. In short, negative people have neither power nor influence over my life.

If I simply stay in an “open awareness” state – negativity will automatically dissolve since it’s not supported by my life.  It takes time, conscience effort and an attitude of allowing what comes – to come fully. I believe that my generation has not done well with allowing their children to fully feel bad things.  It’s normal to want to protect them, but in real life not everyone gets a trophy and not everyone can be first. This can only come from a place of love – not fear or hatred.

When I was very young, I recall being taught that sin was the measurement of “getting in” or not. As in – in to Eternity. I don’t believe this to be true. I believe it puts our Creator in the smallest box ever. I think He knew we were born to sin, its how me made us. I don’t believe sin is weighted. I don’t believe in degrees of sin. I don’t believe Jesus stuttered. Just ask my kids – I do not believe in rewarding expected behavior. Rather, I believe we will be judged to a higher degree on work that we could have done, but chose not to do. If you can do it – do it. If you can make something better, make it. Always leave a place better than you found it. 

  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  Until the Clinton experience, I almost always felt that letting go was quitting, giving up. Then I realized that this boy was ready to go. That wanting him to stay here beyond all costs and measures while his little body betrayed him was the most self-centered thing to do. That by witnessing his mother allowing him to go and telling him that he could go and she would be okay was not only the right thing to do, but what he needed to hear.  “Allowing” or letting go has become my definition of unconditional or “agape” love.

Then there are things I can not let go of…like for example: I have friends that think they are hysterical. They bought me a t-shirt that says “Jesus is a Red Sox Fan”.  I countered with a “Jesus loves you, but I’m His favorite” tee.  I don’t want to burst their bubble – but Jesus loves everyone, that’s just his thing. Revelation 22:13 reads “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” – and post note – he wears Heavenly Pin Stripes. I seriously hear Glory Land type music when I see #2 in pinstripes. It’s better than that. Are you aware?

The one..the only