Advocacy

 Very early this morning, before coffee #2, even, I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks. For those of you who REALLY know me, yes, this CAN happen. I do not believe it was a malicious question, but not very thoughtful. I was asked why I was still “so involved” in childhood cancer, and I quote “since Clinton was already gone”.

I promise, dude.

I promise, dude.

 I’m sure I stunned this person when without hesitation I asked “have you ever had a 6 year old look you in the eye and ask you to promise him that you would “help his friends just be like normal kids”? A 6 yr old who chose happiness, laughter, random acts of kindness – and planned for his future every single day, even though he knew his body was betraying him? I know highly educated and well-traveled adults who fail to “get” this.

  Since this encounter, I have gone on with my day – but have experienced every range of human emotion. My best answers are:
~I advocate because it’s the right thing to do.
~I advocate because my peers are not doing enough and I am ashamed of us.
~I advocate, with no compensation, because decision makers find it hard to take grieving parents seriously, most physicians are doing the best they can with the tools they have,  and I can provide an “as close” as possible 3rd party assessment of the truth from all sides. Collectively,  we are failing these families.
~I advocate because I believe true judgement will come from things I could have done, but chose not to – or found an excuse not to do.
~I advocate because I hate – hate – hate to lose.
~I advocate because I have children, and you have children, and someday – far far from now, I will have grandchildren.
~I advocate because I love Keeton, Alyssa, Nick, Leah, Sadie, Ireland, Bishop, Emily, JoJo,Casey, Mark Kelly and so many more.
~I advocate because there is not an hour of each day that I do not think of Clinton, JC, AJ, Noah, Savannah, Tay, Talia, Jessie, Ronan – and so many more in addition to the 7 children who will die today.
~I advocate for all the children who are healthy today – but tomorrow could be catapulted into toxins being pumped into their bodies, yet they never smoked, sun-tanned, fought a war – or even worked in a place that had carcinogenic chemicals.
~I advocate because I know what is over my head, is under God’s feet.

Until you have experienced something like the photo below, you may never understand. I pray you never do.

Where there is the slightest chance at life, there is Hope.

Where there is the slightest chance at life, there is Hope.

 I will be at the next Childhood Cancer Caucus in Washington, DC -and rumor has it – that as the baby of the family – I will be heard, and will stomp my feet if I do not get my way. My tantrums are ugly.

So – please, do not ever ask me this question – ever again.

If you would like to visit foundation websites I love and that make a difference – every single day,  visit:

www.clintonsclub.org

www.live4tay.com

www.negu.org

www.peachsneetfeet.com

www.alexslemonade.org

www.stbaldricks.org

www.rockstarronan.com

* Note: these are my personal thoughts and not meant to be the reflection, mission or endorsement from any of the above foundations. -LLW

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Inequality in America

 
GO GOLD

 GOLD

    Many Cancer fighting families and the Physicians who treat them – think that last year our Nation spent $122 million,  let’s say – on the research of one Pediatric (kids) cancer, specifically, Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and $631 million on just one adult cancer (breast), because kids are not old enough to vote and therefore politicians do not have to answer to kids. I personally have heard these words spoken on too many occasions over the last 3 years. This is complete rubbish. The cancer kid’s parents vote. Their older-than-18 extended families and biggest cheerleaders – vote. But we have a history of asking politicians the wrong questions. What IS on their platform? I made a promise to a cheeky 7 year old, from that day forward – I would know these things, and whether or not my representatives, congressional members and/or anyone I vote for ever – has childhood cancer research on their platform. If it is not even on their radar, they are not on mine. To be on mine they will need to so some research and see what we can do to right this injustice. No, I do not mean lip service. I like written plans. I’ll need to see those too before you get my vote.

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The King

 I challenge local, state and federal legislators to discover why “everyone” says it is big Pharma’s fault that there has only been one new pediatric drug released in over 20 years on the market. “Everyone” says that big Pharma does not develop/manufacture new drugs for kids because they will not make money off pediatric drugs. WRONG! First, drug companies have very savvy business and marketing development leaders – and second – this subsection of consumers has 46 new customers every single day. The parents of these kids and those who love them most (and even complete strangers) will find the funds necessary to treat/cure-  if the drugs that were needed – were out there. We’ve raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for local kids to get to watered down adult treatment centers across the nation – and sometimes out of the country – because it’s the best option we have. Last – the drug companies are already making money off kids with cancer, but they are not earning a good reputation when their drugs are watered down to a kid dose – have horrific side effects and the kid still dies.  I have spoken directly to – and have had incredible conversations with the leaders in “big Pharma”. They have so many amazing potential kid-friendly drugs on the cusp – but they have difficulty getting governmental approval relating to the research/outcome protocols for Pediatric drugs. Now why would our government do that? Because they only want to fund/grant programs that have good outcomes – and they are doing a bang-up job with that across the board aren’t they? The governmental guidelines are too stringent and they only chose the studies with a very high chance of a great outcome (read propaganda garbage). The only drugs to survive this review are made for adults. It’s just not the American way – to take the easy road.  It doesn’t make me feel better about  myself and our government at the end of the day – and it shouldn’t you either.

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Follow us to the clubhouse. Where cancer kids can be “normal” kids, even for just a few hours.

 I have worked for over two decades in healthcare and I have a special place in my heart for women’s healthcare. My true passion has always been in this field and I have been blown away by the advances. 21 years ago (and even more recent than that) – a breast cancer diagnosis delivered was almost a death sentence. Today, many women work throughout their entire treatment plan without missing much time from work. Am I angry about that? NO. Please do not misunderstand the semantics of my words. I rejoice in the news that yet another woman has beat this monster. I have two very good friends who have breast cancer right now – and whom I love dearly. I have spoken to both of them on this very subject. They themselves – cannot believe the  treatment options they have compared to the non-existing options for children. I do not want the pink ribbon to go away (unless we abolish breast cancer) – but it should not be that hard to equally see the GOLD ribbon about. Pink is big in October, and every other month.  Awareness works – and the pink ribbon campaign has proven this. GOLD needs to work just the same. September is THEIR month. Let’s see some GOLD. Own a business? Cover it in GOLD this September. Allow Clinton’s Club (www.clintonsclub.org) to place an awareness poster in your storefront – or host an event. You do not need money to do this. Donate your social media presence – even an hour a day can make a big difference. Think you can’t make a difference because you have no money? Wrong. Go to Google, select Google images. In the Search bar type “Clinton’s club”. As of this morning, the first 5 images you will find are either sweet Clinton himself – or a highly viewed photo tagged to Clinton.  I am SO SORRY Bill and Hilary, “I have  never had”…intentions to squeeze you off this page. I did partake in ousting Michelle Obama as the #1 trending hash tag for Nashville, TN the week we squeezed her to #2. It was a small week – in this country we call it – re-election week, in a decade where social media – clearly won an election.  I believe it went something like this #pray4tay.   

Tay

Click photo to go to Tay’s site

 One last note to local community leaders, business owners and legislators perhaps you have been fortunate enough to never personally experience childhood cancer. I pray you never do. But if you are one that clicks fast over another bald kids photo or social media awareness page, stop it. We are not looking for nor asking for empathy. We are so sorry that it makes you sad, or maybe even brings you to tears.  We have enough sympathy – we do not need that. We want you to know that ignoring this fact IS impacting the economic growth and development of our community. I’ll use Rutherford County, TN as an example. I personally know NINE local families who have health insurance and who have to spend $40k or more per year out-of-pocket to obtain necessary care for their kids. This does not count counseling for siblings, care for siblings, etc. It doesn’t affect us right? Well, one parent works for Nissan and continues to miss a lot of work to travel out of the local area for Neuroblastoma care (certain this impacts the production line); one works in healthcare herself – and the staff at her work missed an entire day to attend the funeral of her 7-year old. (only 40 patients didn’t receive their scheduled healthcare in RuCo that day, in a critical field that can have many social consequences); one owns her own business that was once thriving and is now nearly closed; ALL of them have gone from a two family income to one, or a single parent who once worked full-time to not working just so one parent can be with the child 24/7. Many have filed bankruptcy. Almost all – have or will be filing for divorce. Our children will most likely have a classmate during their primary school years who has cancer. If your child or grandchild comes home talking about a “monkey in their chair” the monkey represents their classmate who is out of school because of cancer. They will ask you for a few extra dollars to buy a plastic band with their classmates name on it to wear. Some schools ban these bands as not being a violation of dress code. So – yes, if affects us all. Emotionally, Cognitively, Socially, Economically. So, if you ask me how concerned I am about a new conference center and it’s ability for RuCo to compete in an economic arena – I might discuss this with you after you convince me that you have a plan that will really make a difference in the lives of the people who live and work here.

cfhems

Click to see one of the sweetest faces ever. xxEmxx

 I hope you have your thinking caps on. I hope you do more than just think. Imagine, if tomorrow – a terrorist (foreign or home-grown) walked into Siegel elementary and killed 7 innocent children sitting in their classroom. We’d see action. But that’s not quite the right analogy to use. First, we’d have to gather up all of those who love these 7 children – and force them to watch them be tortured over the next year to several – knowing they will die anyhow. What would we do about that? No, this is not shock marketing, this is the truth. A quick visit to the Pediatric Oncology floor at Vanderbilt today – will prove, The floor is full and there are two kids who’s healthcare is at risk as they “wait” in a germ incubator we call the ER. They are waiting because the rooms are full. They shouldn’t have to wait more than 24 hours. Adult Oncology floor has beds immediately available.

cfhl

Murfreesboro’s own sweet girl & Color’s For Hope – Leah Bee. Fighting Neuroblastoma like a BOSS

Situationally Aware.

hero

 I have really had to work on developing my capacity for awareness to the extent that it’s “personal” to my brain – to survive.  I believe I was born with a strong awareness center in my brain which leads me to also “feel” at a much higher sensitivity level. I automatically feel the need to not only label everything I observe, but to categorize it in every way possible – look, feel, smell, sound, positive, negative, feels good, or does not feel good – and please- logical!  As a child, in the absence of emotional maturity, introspection, reasoning, nor any understanding of real life, this awareness center was not always a positive source. Until I learned how to make it personal to my brain, my awareness center got mixed with my thoughts, and Lord knows I cannot believe everything I think! It is much like being supercharged all the time. I have always been somewhat envious of those who seemingly are oblivious to every little thing around them.

Looking all stressed out with my cousin

Looking all stressed out with my cousin

There are many people like me who feel that we were suddenly plugged into a higher voltage of everything, including the force of negativity, which can lead to being overwhelmed, most of the time. I did not realize until I was almost 26 how unconsciously I was living. This coupled with my ordinal position taught me that awareness (done well) is the foundation of how to start coming out of the dysfunction of negativity – and how to stay there. I had to teach myself the mastery of being a pure observer (leaving out judgment/interpretations) without needing thoughts. It’s quite powerful.

This awareness became my light that I have used to identify negativity, and letting it go is an attitude that allows me to dissolve it.  This is HARD work. For me, letting go simply means to stay in a space of allowing the inevitable negativity of others to run out of momentum and fizzle away. Letting go is similar to “doing nothing” or “not engaging”. Just be – and the negativity will soon dissolve. In my life, I have applied it to situations and people. The science behind my theory is simple – life is a space of pure positive vibration and hence it does not support low vibration (negative) states. The only way to sustain a low vibration state is for ME to give it the energy it needs to survive by my beliefs/attention/focus. In short, negative people have neither power nor influence over my life.

If I simply stay in an “open awareness” state – negativity will automatically dissolve since it’s not supported by my life.  It takes time, conscience effort and an attitude of allowing what comes – to come fully. I believe that my generation has not done well with allowing their children to fully feel bad things.  It’s normal to want to protect them, but in real life not everyone gets a trophy and not everyone can be first. This can only come from a place of love – not fear or hatred.

When I was very young, I recall being taught that sin was the measurement of “getting in” or not. As in – in to Eternity. I don’t believe this to be true. I believe it puts our Creator in the smallest box ever. I think He knew we were born to sin, its how me made us. I don’t believe sin is weighted. I don’t believe in degrees of sin. I don’t believe Jesus stuttered. Just ask my kids – I do not believe in rewarding expected behavior. Rather, I believe we will be judged to a higher degree on work that we could have done, but chose not to do. If you can do it – do it. If you can make something better, make it. Always leave a place better than you found it. Heaven

  Sometimes bad things happen to good people.  Until the Clinton experience, I almost always felt that letting go was quitting, giving up. Then I realized that this boy was ready to go. That wanting him to stay here beyond all costs and measures while his little body betrayed him was the most self-centered thing to do. That by witnessing his mother allowing him to go and telling him that he could go and she would be okay was not only the right thing to do, but what he needed to hear.  “Allowing” or letting go has become my definition of unconditional or “agape” love.

Then there are things I can not let go of…like for example: I have friends that think they are hysterical. They bought me a t-shirt that says “Jesus is a Red Sox Fan”.  I countered with a “Jesus loves you, but I’m His favorite” tee.  I don’t want to burst their bubble – but Jesus loves everyone, that’s just his thing. Revelation 22:13 reads “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” – and post note – he wears Heavenly Pin Stripes. I seriously hear Glory Land type music when I see #2 in pinstripes. It’s better than that. Are you aware?

The one..the only

The one..the only